“Life is a Battle, so do not give up fighting!” Savannah Harris
I chose the above quote by Savannah Harris as it spoke to me for a few reasons. Just to name a few, I have felt like life has been a constant battle, gaining ground, facing significant adversity and loss, and overall just never having anything easy. This past year has been extremely difficult for me, I lost my dear mother, and that pain to this day has continued to hit me in moments that take me off of my feet, it is an awful feeling and one I am not sure I’ll fully recover. I have faced health issues, ER visits, and constant pain. Work has been rough with numerous setbacks, often I feel lost or allow regrets to seep through on those decisions. Sometimes it just feels as though the world is against me, a young family member passed un-expectantly, and now here I am with another family member gone, one I wish I had more time to get to know.
I felt I had failed, as self-pity will destroy you if you allow it, which is why this quote spoke to me, you have to battle, and you have to battle daily for happiness. My original hope was to fight by writing and logging my journey on finding happiness, but along the way life and suffering got in the way and I allowed it. It is easy to allow the dark feelings to consume, in fact it is far easier than to embrace happiness, at least this is a lesson I have learned. I did and I allowed those feelings to stop me from writing and staying with my plan, it was easy to blame work, blame life, so I allowed those things to stop me. So when I read this quote a month ago, it really spoke to me, it gave me that spark I needed. It truly is amazing how something so small, short, can be so impactful, it gave me the spark I needed to get back up and battle!
With that spark, I began to sit back reflect and ask myself what really mattered, and why was I allowing these events that I cannot control to impact me so much, the answer was simple it was easier to feel sorry for myself instead of taking action. Well, it is time to take action. So I did, I committed myself to loving my family, spending more time with them and being present instead of wallowing in those things I couldn’t control. I am starting to write again, I even started MMA training again with Krav Maga to help fight the stress from work and life, I have to admit, there is something very therapeutic in punching, kicking, and grappling. Here in Lake Norman area of North Carolina, I highly recommend my gym: Warriors Krav Maga LKN. That and enjoying the gym and my daily walks with my dog, those activities have helped center me and provide a great avenue for stress.
I have also chosen to be present, make time for my kids activities, drop them off at school, relax at night with my wife and listen to her, and provide her an avenue to vent. These activities have really helped me over the past month to start to bring balance, even with this latest setback of health and family loss, I have found comfort and therapy in these areas. I have learned life is like the ocean, hint the image selection, it is beautiful, chaotic, violent, and constant waves that are high or low, so like a surfer, you have to fight the current and waves, and when you do the ride can be hard but exhilarating. So to any of you fathers struggling and feeling like you have failed, remember it is a fight daily for happiness, put on your armor, whatever that is and fight for you, your family, and your community!
Real Fatherhood 
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