The Happiness Project Week 3:

The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions.

– Robert Louis Stevenson

Good Morning and Happy Tuesday Fathers,

I chose the above quote, as I am learning, happiness is a habit which needs to be formed, and cultivated, and continued until it is habitual. Finding happiness, is work, it takes effort, you have to be determined to make being happy a habit, you have to want it, and I want it!

What I am learning this week, is patience, progress is slow, but I see it. I have made a concerted effort to speak positive to myself, and others. I have made it a focus to move on from negative, acknowledge it, but move on, this is where I still get stuck, moving past negative experiences. Negative experiences happen constantly, my job is often nothing but stress. I have read a few books lately, on stoicism, inner control, it is important to acknowledge those experiences, but know you can control only how you react.

Controlling my response to the negative, is where I see small progress. For example, just 2 weeks ago, I would have stewed for hours over a call I had yesterday, but I vented, allowed myself to feel the frustration, but fund a way to move forward. Just now as I reflect on that moment I smile, as I know it is growth. It won’t be large scale and significant changes early, at least this is my experience, but if you stay conscious and focused, you will notice growth.

My favorite exercise I have started to use these past few weeks is controlled experience, centered from Stoicism. Controlled experience is my term for allowing yourself to experience the emotion and the experience, but remind yourself, you control this experience and how it impacts you. If you can remind yourself of this, and allow a moment to think before reacting, you’ll notice a difference. I have.

This controlled experience, was a mixed-bag for me on my birthday last Wednesday, it was my first without my mom, who passed 2 months before that. I reminded myself to control the experience, but it was a strong emotional day, but I did achieve small wins, the day didn’t go as planned, things were closed and we had friends visiting. I was able to move past some of those, but I couldn’t remove the cloud over everything, but I allowed myself to feel, and that was important. You will win some and lose some, but stay conscious of how you feel and experience events, and you will find growth and comfort.

Please fathers, let me know your experiences, how are you working to find happiness? Are you able to control your experiences? Have you found tactics and techniques that have brought you success? Are you struggling and just need to read someone else does as well to know you aren’t alone? Let us know, together we can achieve happiness!

Weekly Book Recommendation: