Mom,
There are so many things I wanted to tell you in person, but I never had the chance, always thought there would be more time… First, I love you, I know you know that, but I wanted to say it again out loud! Secondly, thank you. Thank you for your sacrifices, lessons, and never ending optimism. There are few on this earth that understood pain, suffering, and sacrifices better than you, I wish I had known of those struggles earlier, if nothing else, but to give you a hug and let you know how appreciative I am.
Yesterday marked a week since I lost you to your health battles, we had to make a choice that I hope no one ever has to. We were made to choose to keep you alive for another year with pain and loneliness, or put you on comfort care and allow your body to rest and no longer suffer, it was the hardest decision of my life, I hope we made the right one for you… For over twenty years you fought health battles and could no longer work, but you never gave up and stayed positive! I will try to do the same.
Yesterday, in order to feel closer to you, I went to where we grew up in Lexington, it reminded me just how far we have all come. The home we grew up in was condemned and brought down, today there is an open slot of land in a neighborhood looking more abandoned than occupied. Standing there having the memories flash back to me as if it was yesterday running around playing hide and seek, street hockey and many other activities, I felt a rush of emotion hit me. I still don’t feel your presence since you left, but I felt the energy of memories and it was powerful, even if not as good as seeing you one more time…
I love you mom, and I just wanted to let you know, I am eternally grateful for our last few days and a good Christmas with just us two. Mom, having the chance to spend that time telling stories and watching Christmas movies from my childhood with you, it was beautiful and will stay in my heart forever! I am glad you told me a little more from that vault of your history and gave me context into your family and why I never had the chance to meet them or get to know them. I understand you were given no better options, and I am not angry, I promise to build a relationship with them and learn more about your youth, which is still a mystery. Until I see you again mom, I love you!
Real Fatherhood 
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